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At long last, the piano readied to move Photo by Mark Scherzer
A Dead GiveawayHi all, Mark here.If you read the popular press at all, you by now have heard a lot about the Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning. The craze was started by a book with the same title, and perpetuated by a tv reality show and a host of articles in periodicals. The theory is that, especially as you get older, you de-clutter – dispose of what you don’t need and figure out what to keep or give to your heirs.I’ve been wondering, of late, if that’s the process I’m engaged in. I wasn’t inspired by the media. I’m just trying not to live like a hoarder after moving the contents of my former office and New York City apartment into the farm house.Whatever the reason, I’ve been on a silent but persistent campaign of giving things away. Tables, chairs, plants, a bed and kitchenware to my New York subtenant. Bookcases to my friend, George. A big mirror to my sister. And from the hayloft, 295 pounds of raw Karakul sheep wool to the River Valley Art Collective. The wool is being used by the well known felting artist, Brigitta Váradi, to create a 36 foot long wall installation. It will be featured in an exhibition of Váradi’s works from April 13 to June 9 in Boiceville, NY. The exhibition is viewable by appointment only, which can be arranged at the Collective’s website.Each time I give items away, I report to George, the executor of my will, how much easier I’ve just made life for him. I think that means I’m engaged in Death Cleaning.I didn’t really feel I was getting anywhere, however, until last Monday, when, at long last, the 1878 Square Grand Piano that once belonged to Loretta Byram of Sag Harbor, New York, finally departed this house. For all of you bulletin readers who start each communication with me by saying “I can’t believe you still have that piano”, you can move on to a new topic.Death Cleaning aficionados would say the piano, the largest item in the house, was where I really needed to begin. From that, much more will follow.
The piano movers were a pleasure to deal with. Just two guys, very skilled. So what if in the confusion of the move, a sample of my wool, felted and given to me by Brigitta, somehow accompanied the piano to its new home? Eric and I both rejoiced that now the library can actually be used for sitting in front of the fire on a comfortable couch, reading or listening to a stereo — not staring at an immense out of tune object that nobody here could play.
My elation lasted all of about four days. Until Friday morning, to be precise.That’s when I answered an unexpected and harshly persistent rap on the front door to face three not very friendly Millenials in green uniforms — two pretty muscular looking guys with kind of suspicious eyes roving everywhere, and a very fresh faced young blond woman with her hair pulled tightly back in bun.”Can I help you?” I asked, rather puzzled.The blond woman flashed a badge. “Department of Environmental Conservation, Special Investigations Unit, Officer McCarthy” she said. “Mind if we ask you some questions?””Uh-oh,” I thought to myself. “Is it my compost pile? My burning pile? My attempted possum murder? What have I done?” I didn’t let on, but simply replied, “Certainly, officers. Come on in. I’m a big fan of the environment.””I’ll get right to the point,” she said. “It’s about endangered species.””But I didn’t realize possums were endangered. Anyway, I didn’t succeed at killing that little chicken-eating monster,” I protested.”Not possums,” she spat out. “Elephants. Elephant ivory. Customs agents at the Canadian border found elephant ivory in a truck heading to a radical art collective in Montreal for an exhibit. It was in a huge wooden portrait of George Washington, with teeth composed of ivory piano keys. An illegal use of ivory. The title was in French, “Le Dentier de George” (George’s false teeth). We traced the truck back to a workshop north of Albany, where we found a square grand piano case, same serial number as the one on your DEC antique piano transfer permit. The ivory keys had been removed, and geraniums planted inside the case.”I mounted an impassioned defense. “I had nothing to do with this. I spent months waiting for that permit and went to great lengths to save that piano. I tried to give it to museums, to historic preservationists, to piano tuners and teachers. When all else failed, I advertised it as “free stuff” on Craigslist. I was thrilled when a very nice couple up near Albany said they had fallen in love with it, would tune it and give it a caring home.””You had no idea it would be mined for its ivory?””None,” I assured her.”And what about this other artwork? Maybe you can enlighten us.” She pulled out a picture which led me to realize that not only Brigitta’s felting sample but also my Turkish copper fish serving platter had been taken off with the piano. The felt had been affixed to the platter as a long tail. The artwork was labeled, again in French, “Le Poisson d’Avril.”
Le poisson d’avril, seized at the border Photo by Mark Scherzer
“It means simply the Fish of April,” I explained. “Yes, it’s my fish platter. It’s my felted wool. But I swear to God it’s not my work. Somebody is trying to frame me.”Officer McCarthy turned, mumbled briefly with her two assistants, and turned back: “Look, Scherzer, we don’t have enough to charge you right now. But we suspect that you’ve facilitated a flagrant violation of the Endangered Species Act for subversive artistic purposes. We’ve got our eyes on you, we know about the possum, and if you try to make the DEC permit process into an April Fool’s Day joke, we will get you.””Me, Officer McCarthy? Never.”
WHAT’S AVAILABLE THIS WEEKIn the red meat department, frozen lamb:Butterflied legs of lamb $16/lb Rib or Loin chops (packs of 2) $14/lb Small racks of lamb $14/lb Riblets (breast of lamb) $8/lb Lamb shanks (packs of 2) $12/lbLambs go to market April 9, so you can also order a whole or half lamb, cut to your specifications, for $7/lb hanging weight.In the not so red meat department, frozen heritage breed turkeys, raised on organic grain, see below, $12/lbIn the yellow and white palette: Eggs: $6/dozen, plentiful
WHAT IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE THIS WEEK – AN 1878 SQUARE GRAND PIANOIt’s gone!
HOW ABOUT A TURKEY?HERITAGE BREED TURKEYS: This year we raised Holland Whites, Chocolates and Blue Slates. We still have about 6 birds ranging from 11 to 15 lbs. They were delicious for Thanksgiving. Fed on organic feed, pastured all day once they got big enough to go out, $12 lb
FARM PICKUPS:Email us your order at farm@turkanafarms.com, and let us know when you’d like to pick up your order. It will be put out for you on the side screened porch of the farmhouse (110 Lasher Ave., Germantown) in a bag. You can leave cash or a check in the now famous pineapple on the porch table. Because I’m now here full time, we’re abandoning regular pick-up times. Let us know when you want your order any day between 10 and 5, and unless there are unusual circumstances we’ll be able to ready it to your convenience. If you have questions, don’t hesitate to call or text at 917-544-6464 or email.
HEAR OUR SHOWIf you’d enjoy hearing these bulletins out loud instead of reading them, we broadcast them on Robin Hood Radio, the nation’s smallest NPR station. You can find it on FM 91.9, AM 1020, WBSL-FM 91.7 “The Voice of Berkshire School” or streaming on the web at www.robinhoodradio.com, where podcasts of past broadcasts are also available under the title AgriCulture in the “On Demand” section. FM 91.7 “The Voice of Berkshire School”can be heard from just south of Pittsfield to the CT border. You can hear the station on WHDD FM 91.9 from Ashley Falls, MA down through the Cornwalls and in NY from just south of Hillsdale down to Dover Plains. You can hear the station on AM1020 from Stockbridge, MA to Kent and from Poughkeepsie to Pawling to Kent, Goshen, Torrington, Norfolk, and Ashley. Recently added for those in the Route 22 corridor from Ancram down to Pawling is FM frequency 97.5 And of course you can listen in our own neighborhood of Southwestern Columbia and Northwestern Dutchess County, where it is being broadcast from Annandale on Hudson, 88.1 FM.
At long last, the piano readied to move Photo by Mark Scherzer
The piano movers were a pleasure to deal with. Just two guys, very skilled. So what if in the confusion of the move, a sample of my wool, felted and given to me by Brigitta, somehow accompanied the piano to its new home? Eric and I both rejoiced that now the library can actually be used for sitting in front of the fire on a comfortable couch, reading or listening to a stereo — not staring at an immense out of tune object that nobody here could play.
Le poisson d’avril, seized at the border Photo by Mark Scherzer
WHAT IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE THIS WEEK –
FARM PICKUPS:Email us your order at farm@turkanafarms.com, and let us know when you’d like to pick up your order. It will be put out for you on the side screened porch of the farmhouse (110 Lasher Ave., Germantown) in a bag. You can leave cash or a check in the now famous pineapple on the porch table. Because I’m now here full time, we’re abandoning regular pick-up times. Let us know when you want your order any day between 10 and 5, and unless there are unusual circumstances we’ll be able to ready it to your convenience. If you have questions, don’t hesitate to call or text at 917-544-6464 or email.
HEAR OUR SHOWIf you’d enjoy hearing these bulletins out loud instead of reading them, we broadcast them on Robin Hood Radio, the nation’s smallest NPR station. You can find it on FM 91.9, AM 1020, WBSL-FM 91.7 “The Voice of Berkshire School” or streaming on the web at www.robinhoodradio.com, where podcasts of past broadcasts are also available under the title AgriCulture in the “On Demand” section. FM 91.7 “The Voice of Berkshire School”can be heard from just south of Pittsfield to the CT border. You can hear the station on WHDD FM 91.9 from Ashley Falls, MA down through the Cornwalls and in NY from just south of Hillsdale down to Dover Plains. You can hear the station on AM1020 from Stockbridge, MA to Kent and from Poughkeepsie to Pawling to Kent, Goshen, Torrington, Norfolk, and Ashley. Recently added for those in the Route 22 corridor from Ancram down to Pawling is FM frequency 97.5 And of course you can listen in our own neighborhood of Southwestern Columbia and Northwestern Dutchess County, where it is being broadcast from Annandale on Hudson, 88.1 FM.
FOLLOW USThe bulletins may also now be found in written form on line as well, at the Germantown, NY, portal ofhttp://imby.com/germantown/userblogs/agriculture-turkana-farms/
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